“It takes courage to grow up and become who you are.” e.e. cummings
Turned the BIG 50!
Well, about the quote by e. e. Cummings quote and turning 50… Who am I? Do I know? Have I grown up?
What does that mean to grow up?
I believe it is an evolution over time. In regards to the old reference of nature vs nurture, at age 50, you have definitely accumulated some “nurture” time. There are innate qualities in a person but due to life experiences, we do change and there is a metamorphosis.
Birthdays have never really bothered me in terms of aging. 30 was not a concern for me, nor was 40. I considered them all milestones and achievements. I never mourned getting old. I relished noting I had learned more, been to more places, and used it as an excuse to continue to explore the planet as a celebration of another 365 days around the Earth.
50 though did seem to give me some pause. I do contemplate that I am “on the other side” of my life span. Of course, death can come at any time, but most folks suspect they will live past 50. My life has taught me that that is NOT TRUE and living is a privilege that should not be taken for granted. So, I choose to celebrate my time on Earth constantly by planning new adventures, trying to learn new things, and meeting new people.
I can confess that I am happy, healthy, and have enough. And this didn’t occur at age 50, I have felt that way most of my life. This does not mean that I have not suffered any loss or times of despair and challenge. Of course, I have. But I am grateful for all my hardships and all my joys. Each individual experience is one to learn from and warrants contemplation and self-reflection. And then this is where the growth comes in. It is hard to refine yourself and gain an appreciation for your basic needs being met when you do not face tough times.
I will often try to give myself a perspective when feeling “Oh poor me…” by reminding myself that I have shelter, food, clothing, 2 good arms, 2 good legs, and an “ ok “ head on top - HA.
And then I can even say thank you for the gifts of love, laughter, kindness, creativity in all forms, going to new places and meeting new people, running on long, windy, hilly trails, snuggling with a dog, eating frosting and whip cream, drinking black coffee when I wake up, songs that make you want to sing out loud and move your body, hot tubs after skiing, provocative reading, pancakes drowning in syrup and packed full of nuts and fruit, good storytelling, mind-blowing sunsets, flowers that command your attention, 4-5 cereals mixed together, and poetry that gives you goosebumps and makes you take pause…. There is so much more but just this is just a tickle of my stream of consciousness
I also know I don’t know all of me… I feel to continue to evolve you need to put yourself in different, new, and uncomfortable experiences. If everything is familiar and comfortable I don’t believe you can grow. I refuse stagnation. Always have, even when choosing change over stagnation does not always have the best consequences. I am impulsive at times, impatient, and unsettled. On the same token, I am easy to get along with, have little to no demands, and try to be a team player.
Well enough of my monologue on 50 and who I am or will be, could be, and/or want to be
I had a lovely 50th Birthday in Joshua Tree with Stephen and will continue the celebration in Patagonia with a backpack.
I am blessed in my life and give gratitude and have enough!
Thank you universe and powers that be for my blessings and I promise to continue to pursue a quality of life that reflects my appreciation for having a heartbeat and a restless and inquisitive mind.
Getting ready for Patagonia!
After Santiago, bus ride to Las Torres Camp
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| Additional camper, Chanel from San Francisco ( right of Stephen) Stephen, Chanel, Me, Narelle, Karen ( bestie from MT) |
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